because this is a public blog which unfortunately cannot be made very private at all, and as it seems (i computer nooblet) nothing can be locked here or anything - well the occasional tirade just has to go somewhere in the end.
so hello world, i am tired of many things:
- acting like everything's okay, when i know it isn't
- finding out things really aren't okay
- having to juggle two very hard choices
- suddenly realizing you're on the brink of losing both maybe?
- being someone i'm not everyday for the past month? two more days to a full month
- constantly just coming back, then turning tail and running for it
- wondering what comes next?
- waiting for answers, but God says "wait and don't worry", so there you are.
- telling myself what a stupid mistake i made back on... 2 july
- telling myself about the OTHER stupid mistakes i made after that
- self-deprecating for friday, for saturday, for monday, for today...
- ... and teetering towards temptation of my old habits (thank God for God :D)
- having that age-old, stubborn-ass saggitarian voice in me that spells 'optimist'
i think there's a reason why some people don't want their blog links everywhere. i'd be okay with it, just not in this period of time - but what to do? just glad for yiwei amanda and feli who've pretty much been there nearly every step of the way so far :) and the seniors/friends who kicked my ass to do QT in these nasty times.
many times today, i thought - maybe i should just tell ** **... just wanna take a break from my saturdays. but its too irresponsible
shoutouts:
mari - ! HELLO DEAR
mark - you may forgive me, but hahaha i havent :P
erzi/ming - of course i (didnt) forget you! how could i?? meet up soon? :D and you know i love you too!
