they say the eyes are the windows to your soul. that how you feel, the most significant emotion at that one point in time, can really openly and emphatically be reflected in those two (in our case) hazel eyes. so even if you say "no nothing happened, everything's good." but your eyes are dancing like crazy candlelight... well! :P was just thinking about it earlier, if there's a way to not show it like some people can. (not to say expressionless, but for some it's harder to tell) people've said before they could tell when i was happy, exhilarated, annoyed, worried, REALLY worried, sad, angry, cheeky, etc. malu brought it up again earlier and well it's kinda disturbing
maybe those peepers were saying something in school lol... or not. but anyhowdies, was pleasantly surprised and very very thankful in fact, when izzy paid a surprise IM last night, followed by a rather sobering call. i dont know yet (or if ever) how it worked, but i'd read her blog about her amazing walk w God, and really some parts just stuck in my head? :) esp how she gives one hour of her time daily to God no matter what happened.
and so she had a video... a series of them in fact, and shared one about passion w me. not passion of the Christ, but passion for the Christ. i think it really struck a bell, that pertinent reminder that i honestly haven't done a proper QT since nov 08, and not regularly (i.e. 7 out of 7, 4 weeks running) since sept 08 :/ seems so simple, just that few min a day at least w God but... what? there that's the truth which i've "tried to deny" for a while
beyond that, that other niggling feeling: knowing somehow (by some gut or female instinct or whatever) that until this walk w God goes right, everything in life could feel great, could feel special or something - but could never feel complete. for example in a hypothetical situation (crossing fingers here) getting really good grades for IB in Nov wouldn't be a blast at all if i were to remain the same as i am now. (or bringing resolutions to life's other matters). because it was a simple video, and offhand, one might just say "oh, right." but thing is it really did hit spot-on and so my new goal of 2009:
get right w God: putting Him above all else in my life (grades, friendships/relationships w other people, own wants/desires/needs, etc) simply because He's all i need to get through anything one and all of these, and He has the best plan. and like i told izzy late last night, something i realized - i could try running away in every which way, but the only direction i should be going in is into His arms :) like my favourite ever gospel song goes: into your hand, i commit again. ... You hold my world, in the palm of Your hand :D
dum dee dum. this evening these eyes are smiling :)
*P.S.: thankfully all that falling down on me bum yesterday while roller-blading didn't result in not being able to sit down, in the end. HAHAHA. it was quite an amazing "parade"
