i wanna go jet skiing and horse-riding in the afternoon! there's a riding track nearby!!! it's been 7 years since i last rode a horse i think his name was slinky or shiny or sth like that. not stinky! :P he's the huge white stallion off whose back i got thrown AHAHA back then but i was LIGHTER, you see ;)

after looking back at my old dreams, after hearing stuff/opinions from those i value most, sometimes, i don't know if what i want the most, is really what i want at all

:/ cmon i'm telling myself this is just a phase. i don't like feeling grumpy, even if i can't help it

1124+ to my math port (but more importantly, a few more graphs to go)

and i've successfully stayed up almost 24 hours straight without sleep. which is amazing considering that shopping whirlwind gig around town today :) borrowed mom's card and she went "be careful what you spend on" over the phone so yep i kept budget down. but all that food! gelato+pizza+minestrone soup+chippy's mars bar+milkshakes :/ no exercise today and an overdue twilight video in my bag rawr

cheers to felicia who's been staying up with me for the past 5 hours since i got home LUBCHUZZZ :D (and laughed at me for taking a comfy 1 hr shower at 3+ am) fun to have besties to stay awake with manzzxz. well now the sun is rising and i'm saying

i hope you'll be nice :)

/edit 

WORDS TO MY NAME. 

in the form of EE. 

even if i killed all my weevils on accident and am tearing my hair out on that one :/

/

and yes, it takes 3 buses to go to school!! :/ 48 took me to holland village (2 magazines + 1 caramel ice blended), and yep had a gorgeous sunny morning walk around and to the bus stop. took 95 to opp acjc, and 74 to dover (ACS) bus stop! took SUCH a long while and by then had to run to reena's, grab my stuff, and zip out again to fly back to meet alena :) but anyhow, today was awesome, what with catching up over a massive carbo/fat lunch in mad jack's, gelato at swirl, and LOADS of snacks at home while watching HOW TO LOSE A GUY IN 10 DAYS :D i miss us talking, and well she's one of the few i do try to keep in touch with at least *kekeke* although of course, sometimes i wonder what if SHE came over to AC or I stayed behind in hwachie? hmmm...

but anyway! my point is. today was a beautiful, cloudless blue day, and walking through the park afterwards back home was gorgeous. if not for the cold milk and groceries, i'da stayed on a park bench next to the swan lake and read Lear and watch sunset or something HEH :D 

past 2 days were equally wonderful, being able to chill out w great company and all :) monday was an entirety of bong and pet. and another HUGE feast w food from gastro and snacks at home, lots of PUNCH :D tuesday was on a rooftop and that really felt like on top of the world literally... i watched the clouds shifting shapes in the sky, forming and dissolving into the blueness! catching up a little; off for one of my favourite snacks, frolick scoop! :) mango and waffle crackers, mmmm

conclusion: i'm one motha sentimental prat.

anyhows, yesterday was the last of camp, and the night before was all... "nah let's just stay this way" but AHWELL it was the best ever camp i've ever had along w LDC 08, and though the ending sombred us up quite a fair bit after all the high's, i frankly have to appreciate it alot because now i've found some footing QT-wise again :) 

mostly about how i didnt feel worth enough/couldnt bring myself to sit there w the ppl i've worked most closely with and pray for th Y5s just yet bc my own QT life's been below zero for the most part this year (yes being honest there) and the "come sit down" looks on their faces was a little much, personally... just made me feel really guilty and all. so i went out w BaaBaa (my SHEEP pillow's initials are BB!) and tried to pray properly for the first time in ages. still felt wonked and didnt wanna go back up to Primers Room until they were done. but two or three good chats later about life and the Y5s later, i realized a few things ;) and i'm glad for it yeah

sidenote: mom ignored my calls until almost 8plus! ): heh but yeah anyway what this camp gave me: live footsie, talking to the y5s during their worship prac, getting to know those gorgeous y5 girls (quite "on", and really cute/funny), random chats and catching up w diff ppl, showers at wee hours of the night, BEST HORLICKS EVER :D, catching up w our y7s, 3 hours of intensive running around - touch rug, jogs arnd school, gym-my stuff later, roaming school at 3am, getting half-hour of sleep (too cold, no sleeping bag), getting bitten by mozzies until 5.30 when i gave up and got up, buying 80 packs of nasi lemak (20 of which were redundant!!!!), more time w Y5s, SUPERLOTSOF PRECIOUS TIME @ the west coast jetty w Pet having great girl chats (we went a little crazy), scarped my foot a little (!) on the rocks, reading King Lear under a bridge, cute dogs, the last hour together... LOVE :)))

sidenote #2: feli and i found half-clothed squash guys in our girls toilet. i dunno who was more disturbed? and for most part of 2nd day, the back of my skull was throbbing like crazy from the full-speed-on shoulder-head collision during touch ): i swear my brain shifted hahahaha. oh yes, and weird moment where Pet laughed at the sight of me sitting next to "F*** off" written under the bridge, and when the guys saw it later... and someone's "there's a troll under the bridge!" GROSS who was it SO MEAN ):

ahwell uni fair today saw so many people from IB... and now pet and i are making our future plans AHAHAHAHA :D alsuwaigh and lewina are in the Prospectus! omgoodness D:

current favourite song: broken strings by james morrison :) bittersweet lyrics, great song

i wonder if no blogposts = no life. because somehow it means that when i'm on my mac at home, i am making myself less distracted = more typing and reading out a 1/8th revamped EE draft, for example = accomplish more IB work in one night though each day lengthens it by proportionally more anyway = smile, sigh, bed = wake up, next day, same cycle = NO LIFE. where are you, i want you back! ):

which, of course, maketh all that i typed out there an irony in real time. there, i'm talking in econs HL terms now! :D UGH. ah well, careers day tomorrow, that's a break off looking at inflation, a mass of words on a mass of Paul Cheong's slides, integration (still need to copy stuff off Feli), delocalization of electrons, etc. i want to "delocalize" now and try studying in canadian international or global indian international AHAHAHA okay kidding i love school

actually, yeah i'm not kidding man, i really sort of do. not the studying and classes but the people and all, the stuff we all do (and/or survive together) that we'll remember - some yes, some no, some to be in the many years down the road :) like today was really quite funny and i came home quite shacked after: 

#1 stealing karlo's backpack as a joint plan and watching the poor pinoy running up and down the block yelling "where's my bag AHHH" then he suddenly saw me with it and charged down the corridor. at which i balked and feli screamed at me to go into the girls' toilet so i scuttled in quickly and guess what that pervert of a pinoy charges INTO the GIRLS toilet and i freak and throw his backpack back at him. he comes out and suddenly people in the corridor look at him and the door he just closed and say: "KARLO DID YOU JUST COME OUT OF THE GIRLS TOILET." and i'm behind laughing my a** off ;)

#2 ben had lighter fuel and was going trigger happy spraying it at people, and i got quite a fair bit too until i got "pissed off" and wanted to use my scented spray as a weapon AHAHAHA which would have been "mass destruction" because i suddenly realized (or we all did, at the same time) that if he sprayed lighter oil/fuel, and i sprayed alcoholic scents... NO SHIZ MASS DESTRUCTION and we'd all be little bits of pieces and flobber on the IB Level 5 lift landing :D

lalalala and of course the biggest and best of all #3 FELICIA TAN'S HAIRPEE EIGHTEEN BEEDAY. good gollywogs, half my friends are already eighteen! D: well she says the only reasn she's still in this school is that she needs to "wait for all you younger (immature, i'm sure :P) people to grow up and reach" her age AHAHAHA :D anyway, i'm quite happy living my last year as a kid now, because the amt of rubbish i do in school everyday... i'm gonna get 24194892018 demerit points-equivalent in a corporate, working environment BLAH :D

at the UK universities place this past weekend, i remembered how 5 years ago, i'd think WHAT THE H**L this is still WAYYYY FARRR away from where i am now so heck it seriously, but look at where we are now. i told kristin and tim seet who were there too, and amanda, and yeah i guess we all feel the same way! and i'd like to think oh gosh how cool would it be if all of us girlfriends got into the same uni or same country and yeah we could all meet at an alfresco cafe one day and do work together sipping hot tea and eating scones :P or share a dorm/rent an apartment near West End HAHAHA OKAY the dream... the daydreaming stops

and you wake up, crash and burn and realize no no no time to wake up man i think i should just focus on trying to get into local medicine for now :) i know dreaming about the awesome programs at King's (patient interaction in your first semester!!!) and UCL (preparatory intercalation for BSc and MBBS in your third year) is all well and wonderful - BUT half a million dollars? D: unless i get a scholarship, which is REALLY DIFFICULT i dont know ): really, 70000 pounds versus 70000 sing D here in NUS? you do the math

and 

so

i say:

"if not medicine in NUS, i have 2 other career options:

1. Road-sweeper for Dover Road and Buona Vista

2. Vineyard worker in Sardinia, Italy (plucking grapes and eating them along the way)"

:)

/edited 3:27 AM

1934 WORDS OF XTENDED ESSAY

BEMUSED SMILE

TIRED LOOK

BLACK EYES (HEEHEE NO PUN INTENDED)

AND A SCREENSHOT ABOUT EYE-BEE! :D

okay careers day zombified max! xx

ALL YOU EVER WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT

WEEVILS.